I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize