porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
