loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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