Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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