YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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