Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She just used a chaser for red wine.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
