If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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