You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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