Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
