Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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