Who wears a wallet chain?!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize