just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize