...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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