Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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