so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize