He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I touched a dick in church today
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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