Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
