Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined

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(314): View more from Missouri

chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision

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(757): View more from Virginia

It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"

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(970): View more from Colorado

She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing

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(303): View more from Colorado

So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.

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