She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
they call him Oral-B. enough said
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize