Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is

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(281): View more from Texas

Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.

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(513): View more from Ohio

the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.

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(718): View more from New York

Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"

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(614): View more from Ohio

Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.

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(310): View more from California

Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.

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(602): View more from Arizona

WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.

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(208): View more from Idaho

You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?

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