just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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