i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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