ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
