I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
