Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
