If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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