considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
