If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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