i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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