that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
