Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
farters have to be the big spoon...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Randomize