did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
