MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
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if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
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Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dick very happy bro
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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