Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
