Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
