What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
