Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
my liver is dry heaving
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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