butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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