Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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