I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
