found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
