If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
