that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize