I showed him my bush... on skype.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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