I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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