Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
