my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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