I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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