I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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