I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize