1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
