Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
