This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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