hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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