Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
